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motifake

Card Demotivational Poster


MY TIRE WAS THUMPING... - I thought it was flat, When I looked at the tire...I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~Kenmark Greeting Cards~




ALUCARD IS AMUSED -


TAGS: alucard edward sparkles
Rating: 3.94/5

More motifakes by C4K36

LD0ne - March 22, 2010, 4:01 pm
lol i loved this one great job 5 lions
Anon - October 31, 2009, 12:39 am
This is picture is Fucking Epic


YOUR MAN CARD -


TAGS: earned not given man card
Rating: 4.7/5

More motifakes by Airman

nicholsjoshua15 - February 7, 2013, 9:30 pm
While I was at work; two neighborhood thugs tried to hassle my mother for money. When I came home she tolled me what the had done. I got my gun and tolled them where to get off and what would happen if the didn't. The never bothered her. Man points +100.
Vampyro - July 22, 2011, 6:39 am
I am going to print that and cut out the card 5L
Airman - July 6, 2011, 11:01 am
you're right Derek.. 6 is about it. I posted it because I thought the list was pretty dumb, and I meant to make a comment about that, but I ended up forgetting about it. Bomb away 440.. that list deserves it.. except, I did always want to be a. lumberjack
rubys - July 5, 2011, 11:15 pm
This an amazing blog post dude. You made some good points there. Thank you so much for sharing it. Kudos! I also wanna share this christmas lights article that we have.
Derek - July 5, 2011, 10:02 pm
Ugh, 6/15 maybe. Any "15/15" men left out there? Anywhere?
440wakeup - July 5, 2011, 10:00 pm
I'm not gonns bomb this but these make you a hill-billy not a man. where is quote godfellas at the appropriate time. When I was 15 I bet 2janitors I could carry a refrigerator up 3 flights of stares faster than the two of them could carry one fdridge up


ALUCARD WALKS INTO A TWILIGHT CONVENTION - "All I said was that vampires don't sparkle"


TAGS: alucard hellsing vampire
Rating: 3.75/5

More motifakes by Alex

FatherTyme - May 4, 2011, 6:23 pm
Hmm, I'd love to see Blade AND Alucard cleaning house. @thatonechick, I saw Hellsing, truly [email protected]$$. He was pwning let and right and not even caring enough to take names :)
boinger - March 9, 2011, 1:23 pm
vampires actually do sparkle... for .00000000001 seconds b4 they burst into flame
Mooooooooooooooooooo - June 27, 2010, 9:57 pm
He'd probably win a race up your parents basement stairs as well.
TheTrashHeap - June 27, 2010, 9:51 pm
But could he beat you in a spelling bee?
corbett06 - June 27, 2010, 9:49 pm
that faget edward wouldnt stand a chance in satans hell against alucard
LD0ne - May 7, 2010, 9:52 am
nice job *applauds* 5 lions
Portgas D. Ace - December 12, 2009, 10:21 pm
Positive. Edward definiely should meet Alucard *hrhrhr*
angryceltic - December 12, 2009, 12:34 pm
i did and it was awesome
thatonechick - December 12, 2009, 9:56 am
Anybody else watch Hellsing? *crickets chirp*


MARRIAGE -


TAGS: couple cards marriage
Rating: 4.82/5

More motifakes by Airman

GreyScorpion - February 1, 2011, 8:25 am
as you sit there holding Aces and Eights....5L
rerun - January 31, 2011, 8:16 pm

Oh so true.
Faceplant31 - January 31, 2011, 7:16 pm
They don't know sh!t and thats why i'm cleaning my boots off after stomping that last little timmy.
Reality Lord - January 31, 2011, 6:52 pm

p'fffft ....what do they know.
Airman - January 31, 2011, 6:36 pm
thx RL.. not everyone agrees
Reality Lord - January 31, 2011, 4:35 pm

awesome ...as ususal dude
MilDoc - January 31, 2011, 12:54 pm
Nice! Posted like a true narried man! 5L


LIFE -


TAGS: game death cards think again
Rating: 4.79/5

More motifakes by LiquidAngel

5150monkeylove - December 10, 2011, 12:21 pm
Golden! shared on fb
gas - December 8, 2011, 12:21 pm
..keep picking card5
CloudchaserS - December 8, 2011, 10:26 am
There should be a heavy metal song about this m/om/


DESTINY -


TAGS: cards poker money cat pussy
Rating: 4.69/5

More motifakes by forseti

forseti - January 30, 2012, 9:46 am
lol... thx RL. So tell me, how much do you need?? :D
Reality Lord - January 30, 2012, 7:38 am

typical forseti....epic dude :)
suzieq - January 29, 2012, 5:30 pm
H5GE


DIFFERENCE -


TAGS: life time day safe tv show cardassian kardashian gossip star trek
Rating: 3.84/5

More motifakes by giulio

NickelinDimer - August 13, 2016, 6:12 am
(Singing): "I'm a Cardassian!"
Bartimaeus - September 14, 2009, 7:41 pm
There's a mistake you could only make once. Good warning. 5/5
Spangle - September 14, 2009, 6:02 pm
gahahahahahaha
Mr. Shiny - July 20, 2009, 7:40 pm
lol I like this one!
Sean - May 31, 2009, 12:04 am
Ridiculously funny. Well done, ya bastard!


CARDASSIANS AND KARDASHIANS - Knowing the difference could save your life


TAGS: card
Rating: 4.1/5

More motifakes by ultimaterorschach

curlyrocks - September 19, 2013, 11:28 pm
5L considering when I first heard about the Kardashians I thought it was a Star Trek thing.
ultimaterorschach - April 15, 2011, 12:40 pm
OK not what I expected to here... but right
Bolverk37782 - April 8, 2011, 1:32 pm
Ya, The KARDASHIANS are a threat to your sanity and if your a Fella your bank balance


SOME GIRLS HAVE KITTENS AS PETS - Some have psychotic vampires that make Freddy Krueger look like Santa Claus.


TAGS: hellsing alucard
Rating: 4.3/5

More motifakes by MrBlack

wampyre - April 22, 2010, 8:19 am
Awesomeness!!! 5 Hellhounds for you!!!
Feanor - February 17, 2010, 1:07 am
Thanks. It looks cool. Time to get my hands on a copy.
MrBlack - February 16, 2010, 5:21 pm
It's from Hellsing, the OVA in particular.
Feanor - February 16, 2010, 1:39 am
Hey what anime is this from? It looks interesting, but I've never seen it before.
angryceltic - February 16, 2010, 12:43 am
im just wondering does anyone know if they are going to extend the series or keep it the way it is?


GENTLE PERSUASION - Always the best approach


TAGS: car parking card
Rating: 4.86/5

More motifakes by motinet

cedre - December 24, 2010, 10:49 pm
A bar of white soap looks amazingly like a bad scratch...but washes right off. Just sayin'
AdmiralAckbar - October 31, 2010, 10:08 pm
try a dry erase marker
fascistfrenchman - October 30, 2010, 5:49 am
Oh, the times I wish I could these, but it wouldn't be wise to do so in my work parking lot.
Davin Holcomb - October 30, 2010, 3:14 am
no need to have them custom made. i have a stack of these... and i use them. they're uber-cheap on houseofgrafix.com
Mooooooooooooooooooo - June 27, 2010, 10:37 pm
Mrs. Moo+ is making me some of these. 5L


SECOND-IN-COMMAND FACEPALM - When the boss doesn't realize how full of fail he really is


TAGS: star trek facepalm riker jean luc picard enterprise
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by jam1977

DreMagnum - March 15, 2010, 4:14 pm
Its a different pic, from the same scene, but a different pic. Still not funny though.
GreyScorpion - March 15, 2010, 4:10 pm
jam1977, 2nd time you've used this same pic in 2 days. find a new one


20 Something -




DUELING FACEPALMS - When you're not the only one who realizes how dumb that truly was




WE ARE THE BORG - All your base are belong to us


TAGS: borg base picard all your belong star trek
Rating: 3.2/5

More motifakes by arsonking14

agdaniele - August 9, 2009, 8:59 am
Woodyism #153
union - August 9, 2009, 7:09 am
That is exactly how Patrick Stewart speaks.
arsonking14 - August 9, 2009, 12:10 am
Epic


PICARD FACEPALM: - now available to answer stupid guestions on yahoo answers.


TAGS: you know your dumb when someone makes a picard facepalm with ms word
Rating: 4.21/5

More motifakes by Dude 4515

R.S.Jake - May 5, 2010, 10:14 am
Computers are a myth! They are only the images we see after the Government gives us the hypno-drugs! The year is actually 1836, and everything you know and see is a lie! J/K, don't send pretend hate mail. It doesn't exist anyway.
forseti - May 5, 2010, 9:13 am
bats are birds... why are there people who waste their time by giving "correct" answers to such a question?!?*fg*
thatonechick - May 5, 2010, 9:04 am
While we're discussing Yahoo Answers... here is my favorite. http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100421052612AADGqkk
corbett06 - May 5, 2010, 8:56 am
talk about blind faith what a fricken moron
boeweizer - April 29, 2010, 9:01 pm
the idiocy of sum ppl, i mean wow!
CoolioIndeed - April 20, 2010, 3:36 pm
I was gonna give it 5 until I saw the typo. 4L


A L U C A R D - When he kills a vampire, it doesn't turn into girly-ass sparkles!


TAGS: alucard dracula twilight hellsing vampire vampires anime manga
Rating: 3.44/5

More motifakes by al

Chompers - August 10, 2010, 9:22 am
Actually, they turn to dust, which sparkles in the OVA
thatonechick - August 10, 2010, 9:20 am
Actually, I'm nice and mid-cycle. Blame it on whatever you want, though.
culos - August 10, 2010, 9:18 am
Sorry TOC, I know PMS when I see it. I'll be a wise old Greybeard and I'll cease and desist. Hell hath no fury than a woman about to bleed (Shakespearish)
thatonechick - August 10, 2010, 9:06 am
5L because it is about Hellsing. Oh, and culos, keep trolling my comments. Go for it.


THE OVERLORD DOUCHEBAG - Occasionally leaves the safety of his Impenetrable Cardboard Fortress.


TAGS: overlord douchbag impenetrable cardboard fortress
Rating: 4.35/5

More motifakes by MustyK

phydeaux - January 24, 2010, 3:08 pm
Now sit on it and spin. 5L!


BIKERS!!....NO. -


TAGS: motorcycle man card
Rating: 4.33/5

More motifakes by Mooooooooooooooooooo

Mooooooooooooooooooo - September 7, 2012, 12:32 am
Need a hug Susan?
ICEMAN - September 6, 2012, 11:43 pm
Wait a minute... Moooooooooooooooo made a poster??? WTF??? Not bad for an amateur.
Sean - September 5, 2012, 11:35 pm
Hilarious too. Uhm, what does it mean if your man card has faded over time ... when once it was red? I'd show you what I mean, but the wife is out and she keeps it in her purse.
Reality Lord - September 5, 2012, 9:52 pm

lolz...it's a very pretty bike.
AcidRain - September 5, 2012, 5:25 pm
That second paragraph caught me off. Awesome, never saw that coming.


POKER FACE - glasses don't always help.....




WHY STAR TREK IS UNREALISTIC - No Frenchman could be as badass as Jean-Luc Picard


TAGS: star trek captain patrick picard
Rating: 4.75/5

More motifakes by crazyman

Cyberhagen - July 5, 2011, 3:24 pm
I still don't get the casting of Patrick Stewart as a Frenchman. They should've changed Picard's character's name to something British.
Reality Lord - July 2, 2011, 5:25 pm

ahhhh the eternal Kirk vs Picard argument. two words...shoulder roll...FTW!
ArturiusMaxwell - July 2, 2011, 9:23 am
The actor might have been a brit but the character was a french decendant. Jean-luc might not be as eager as Kirk to get into a brawl but he has flexed his muscle plenty in TNG
bassman007 - July 1, 2011, 5:07 pm
oops, meant he wasnt a badass
bassman007 - July 1, 2011, 5:07 pm
Picard was a badass, Kirk could whoop him any day!
Cloudchaser - July 1, 2011, 12:40 pm
The actor who played him was actually British


HEY AL... - I have a whole pocket full of Race Cards. How about you?




LIFE SUCKS -


TAGS: poker cards life bluff
Rating: 4.42/5

More motifakes by Faceplant31

ICEMAN - October 29, 2010, 8:29 pm
Heh, heh heh. You funny guy! ;)
GreyScorpion - October 29, 2010, 8:27 pm
Ice, I raise you a pair of TV towers...right up your ace!...been waiting all day for that, pumpkin
ICEMAN - October 29, 2010, 8:18 pm
Awwww, I feel special. Mooooooooooooooo will be dreaming of me even in a drunken stupor. Time to get over that obsession of yours cupcake. OBTW, go ahead & raise on the pair of deuces.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 29, 2010, 8:06 pm
That's my plan for tonight....Hope you guys have fun jerking each other off while I get drunk and win big..LOL!...yeah, I'm talking to you ICEMAN.


GAMBLING` -


TAGS: women are like funny cards
Rating: 4.21/5

More motifakes by the1stCOMMI3

7053 - July 14, 2011, 3:45 am
Clever shot...well,that's the classic concept,isn't it?
mariand - July 11, 2011, 6:42 pm
I like it... so call me misogynist :))
rerun - July 11, 2011, 6:27 pm

so are the members here, I see no problem with that
the1stCOMMI3 - July 11, 2011, 12:39 pm
Everyone has their own opinion. Most people thought it was funny
DemonFeather - July 10, 2011, 9:35 pm
I really did not like this. It seemed really mysoginistic and sick and twisted.
Verdeckt - July 10, 2011, 4:57 am
5 Alibis


HALLMARK - Always there for us when we can't find those special words.




HELL NO WE WON'T GO -


TAGS: draft card burning vietnam war
Rating: 3.34/5

More motifakes by Airman

Airman - December 1, 2011, 6:28 pm
now everyone was available based on your birthday. Most of the soldiers in Nam were drafted into the Army, thus the anti war protestors. You don't have that today because everyone enlisted who is in the military.
Airman - December 1, 2011, 6:25 pm
for those who weren't around from 1963 to 1969, you were subject to the Vietnam draft after high school. You could get a deferment if you went to college. Which when you think about it, wasn't fair at all. so the dumped it and went to a lottery system
Reality Lord - December 1, 2011, 5:31 pm

the man has the right site. the poster is epic. the voter is a douche. 5L'd dude....and i'm heading off to the vote logs to see if the hammer comes out :)
Capt. Morgan - December 1, 2011, 9:20 am
I think the site you are looking for is Politifake.org
mariand - November 30, 2011, 4:20 pm
like I've said so many times... some people just don't get it...
gas - November 30, 2011, 3:55 pm
that shouldn't be so low rated, it deserves twice 5 lions


PRICELESS - 4 Idiots One Smart Guy Priceless He Covered his face and saved his ass




YOU HEARD HIM - OR HE'LL GO BORG ON YOU!




Q - I have to know. . . Do you. . .do you still respect me?


TAGS: sttng star trek q picard mattakunobaka okami
Rating: 3.56/5

More motifakes by okami

Zealot - April 27, 2010, 7:00 pm
what, come on this is 4/5 material atleast
R.S.Jake - April 27, 2010, 6:06 pm
Q: "What do you mean 'still'?"


THE ULTIMATE QUESTION - Which is better Kirk or Picard


TAGS: kirk picard star trek
Rating: 2.69/5

More motifakes by Anima

FilthyPhil - December 10, 2011, 4:03 pm
Kirk, Hagar, Wilma, Mrs. Howell
Anima - July 29, 2011, 9:18 am
Hagar, Betty, who the hell are the other two
alazgr8 - July 28, 2011, 1:09 am
"Which" or "who" is better? This not even close to the ultimate question. David Lee Roth or Hagar. Wilma or Betty, Mary Ann or Ginger, that is the question.
Alixian - July 25, 2011, 6:41 am
Sisko is cool, Janeway isn't fit enough to polish Kirk's shoes never mind Picard's head, tough question tho
Anima - July 24, 2011, 3:55 pm
Done that at the local STFC, it was epic
Anima - July 24, 2011, 3:54 pm
easy stay in basement & order, pretend ur part of TMNT
Anima - July 24, 2011, 3:53 pm
Sorry no, Picard had the balls to become Locutus, Kirk took on Khan, and slept with half the galaxy's female residents. Yes Sisko was cool, but not as cool as Picard, Janeway just sucked
Cloudchaser - July 23, 2011, 1:15 am
Wanna have some fun? Go to a Star Trek forum, ask that question, and sit back with a tub of popcorn
Jalozyin - July 22, 2011, 5:35 pm
No, you forgot about Sisco, as well as Janeway! Janeway could kick both their asses any time.
Sean - July 22, 2011, 3:01 pm
If THAT'S your ultimate question, then you really ought to get a better ultimage question, such as: Table for one vs. stay in basement and order in?


ALUCARD - so badass, he smokes bullets


TAGS: alucard hellsing bullet smoking
Rating: 2.41/5

More motifakes by ichigo9054

Claire - September 30, 2010, 10:05 pm
The guy's username just puts the cherry on top.
Mr. Shiny - September 30, 2010, 10:02 pm
So bad-ass, he doesn't care that he's featured in a shitty poster.
Anonymous2 - September 30, 2010, 8:04 pm
Also, to the person who submitted this, how about showing clips from the show, instead of promotional art. Y'know, shots of him taking down freaks, shots of him using his powers.
Anonymous2 - September 30, 2010, 8:01 pm
Zook, he has a really long nose, his glasses have just slid down.
Zook - September 30, 2010, 9:58 am
whats with the eyeball on his forehead?
hootizz - September 30, 2010, 2:30 am
Crankyhead you took the words right out of my mouth...
agdaniele - September 30, 2010, 2:20 am
And here, I thought it was his own John Wayne Bobbit.
crankyhead - September 30, 2010, 2:18 am
That's not a bullet, it's a suppository.
agdaniele - September 30, 2010, 2:17 am
Don't do that! I'd hate to see a horned helmet on any other body part!
Haarakkon - September 30, 2010, 2:17 am
LOL! I swear if I hung out here more often than I do I'd be liable to get a swollen head.
agdaniele - September 30, 2010, 2:14 am
This poster is the anti-Haar. The man is a genius.
agdaniele - September 30, 2010, 2:13 am
I approved it, lover.
Haarakkon - September 30, 2010, 2:10 am
I don't know nor does it matter who approved it, BTW.
Haarakkon - September 30, 2010, 2:10 am
Not pointing fingers or intending to irritate any of the mods, but the safest bet is probably to nuke the damn thing before it starts.
Faceplant31 - September 30, 2010, 2:07 am
Good call haar, i was thinking the same thing. Now on the other hand the average score of 5 0L votes is still 0L.
Haarakkon - September 30, 2010, 2:07 am
0+5/1=5
Haarakkon - September 30, 2010, 2:06 am
Dammit, Aggy! Yer solar powered calculator is outta sunlight again. 1+5/2=3.
ICEMAN - September 30, 2010, 2:05 am
Thanks teach. You get an apple.
agdaniele - September 30, 2010, 2:00 am
Although many believe in no vote, they must remember that 0+5=5, but 1+5=2.5
Faceplant31 - September 30, 2010, 1:59 am
This motifake, so effing lame it should not get even a 1L. Sure agg, i agree
agdaniele - September 30, 2010, 1:58 am
Different user, same outcome... this should end it for 2010. Agreed?


DADDY'S SURVIVAL CREDIT CARD - A perfect tool for the real men!




SHOPAHOLIC - He got it all online. Al he had to do was follow the link.


TAGS: link shopping high credit limit first credit card oops
Rating: 3.67/5

More motifakes by Motifake Wit Liberation Front

Freezzy - June 13, 2010, 11:20 pm
Where is the Big Goron Sword!! I demand to know!!
Treehodger - February 14, 2010, 7:06 pm
Ever wonder where he puts it all if he does not have pockets on those tights of his? Yes, this is a rhetorical question. I really don't want to know. Thanks.
Screamin Daemon - December 21, 2009, 9:51 am
So true. I wonder why I never saw it this way before.


NERDS -




POKER - If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.




FOR EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE - there's mastercard




YOUR MAN CARD - It has been taken




NO BRAINER - Kirk rules, Picard drools.


TAGS: kirk picard star trek
Rating: 2.55/5

More motifakes by Mongo

Fatt Matt - July 27, 2009, 12:01 pm
This is an example of how a poster can be really bad, and still be full of fail.
Derek - July 26, 2009, 7:33 pm
In my mind an example of how one can be very different, but just as good.


666 - That credit score is beast, man.




THE JAPANESE - PART 2 -




FATT MATT - I got you a bucket of KFC for your B-Day. I've insured your life for 10 Million. Regular or extra crispy?


TAGS: happy birthday myocardial infarction anyone
Rating: 3.64/5

More motifakes by Mooooooooooooooooooo

SteveOh - March 6, 2011, 8:38 am
thats a lot of bacon
R.S.Jake - April 12, 2010, 5:06 pm
Ah 30, to be young and free again....
Mooooooooooooooooooo - April 12, 2010, 5:03 pm
Did you have a good b-day?....next year is the big 30 eh? On my 30th we had a poker game, there were 20 people in my 1 bedroom apt....I don't remember any of it.
Fatt Matt - April 12, 2010, 4:58 pm
Extra crispy. Did you pick up any deep fried Twinkies with that?? And I also require a bucket of lard to dip the KFC in. thx +5 :)
General1710 - April 11, 2010, 4:50 pm
Dear kird is that his right nut?
Bartimaeus - April 11, 2010, 11:59 am
My God! He's proportioned like a turkey!


RACE CARD -


TAGS: race card
Rating: 3.39/5

More motifakes by Todd Snyder

Sean - June 14, 2009, 3:09 am
This "WOrld Series of Poker" to which you refer, what do they mean by "race card"? Is that a term of theirs?


MAN CARDS, THEY COME IN PINK TOO. -


TAGS: zelda man card
Rating: 2/5

More motifakes by Klara

guyfox - May 8, 2010, 6:23 pm
you killed it
agdaniele - May 8, 2010, 1:33 pm
Not if you're playing Zelda, it doesn't.


Politically Correct Christmas Card -




STORMTROOPERS PLAYING POKER - It would be in your best interest to remember what game you are playing.


TAGS: storm trooper cards poker
Rating: 3.89/5

More motifakes by SgtRock

DreMagnum - March 16, 2010, 8:58 pm
Or the fact that an IP can only vote once on each poster. And yes you can vote on your own.
SgtRock - March 16, 2010, 8:55 pm
Can you vote on your stuff? Is that within the rules? What stops me from repeat voting on others posters? Honor system?
phydeaux - March 16, 2010, 6:03 pm
hey hey...the whole gangs here!!
R.S.Jake - March 16, 2010, 5:20 pm
And it's like Phydeaux's family is playing! :)
R.S.Jake - March 16, 2010, 5:20 pm
It made me laugh!
SgtRock - March 16, 2010, 5:14 pm
Whoever approved this, thanks. I didn't think it would be funny enough to post


LIFE OR DEATH - It brings out the worst in people


TAGS: airline safety card worst people oxygen mask fire crash brace airplane
Rating: 3.61/5

More motifakes by WTF

Treehodger - February 17, 2010, 9:50 pm
I kind of wish the last cell in the middle row for fire (Where the adult and kid sit). I wish the adult was using the kid as a human shield from the flames. That would be hysterical. Regardless, 5Ls!


CAPTAIN PICARD - Never let him drive


TAGS: star trek picard
Rating: 3.46/5

More motifakes by OG

agdaniele - March 20, 2010, 10:41 am
This has a Megaforce feel!
rerun - March 20, 2010, 10:16 am

when I was growing up this vehicle was a dune buggy.
rogueagent - June 24, 2009, 3:20 pm
Look into a Tomcar or the Jackal/HMT by Supacat.
AXL - June 23, 2009, 11:49 pm
Is it wrong that I want a veicle almost like that?
Eternal Lord Jackass - June 21, 2009, 8:29 am
But let's face it, it's more fun than letting Data drive right?
Sean - June 14, 2009, 2:56 am
What do you call a Trekie virgin? A Trekie.


LIFE -


TAGS: life cards
Rating: 3.43/5

More motifakes by ronsart

Ed-Hyde - July 27, 2009, 10:26 am
Wow ron, that was actually motivational. Course, now I want to slit my wrists with playing cards...
Haarakkon - July 26, 2009, 7:23 pm
than that, I mean
Haarakkon - July 26, 2009, 7:22 pm
Yup, that's how it goes. That's about the time I stopped playing, when I moved out of Seattle. Guess a little longer...
Mooooooooooooooooooo - July 26, 2009, 7:21 pm
I don't tolerate whiners or crybabies...If you can't afford to lose...you should stay at home.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - July 26, 2009, 7:19 pm
11 years of weekly poker. The "craze" only increased the number of douchebags I had to throw out of my game.
Haarakkon - July 26, 2009, 6:54 pm
Oh, I'm aware of that, my friend. I was playing, as I'm sure you were, long before the game became all the rage with Texas Hold 'Em and ESPN.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - July 26, 2009, 6:49 pm
No offense buddy, but the game you describe is little girl poker. Wild cards are for old women. FYI I started drinking early today and the "sarcastic asshole" stage is upon me right now.
Haarakkon - July 26, 2009, 6:43 pm
Weeellll... It's all I get, seems. Real poor hand with 7 card double draw, deuces, 1 eyed jacks and suicide kings wild.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - July 26, 2009, 6:20 pm
you're a fan of the "dead man's hand" Haar?
Haarakkon - July 26, 2009, 6:04 pm
Aces and Eights, Aces and Eights.


RELIGION - Believing that if you worship something enough, random chance suddenly becomes the will of all-powerful, supernatural forces




VALENTINES DAY - Yup that time of year is coming back around again




WISDOM - Do I feel bad for the person who always fails the worst? No I feel bad for the person who always nearly fails the worst. Why? Because he fails at failing




AGGY - apology accepted


TAGS: culos aggy haz green card
Rating: 4.82/5

More motifakes by culos

agdaniele - February 21, 2011, 5:43 pm
Well, I fail to see why I need to show my... wait, what? I'm illegal?
culos - February 21, 2011, 5:07 pm
BUMP! (I want Aggy to see this one)


It's not about the cards you're dealt -


TAGS: card deal play hand calendar
Rating: 4.63/5

More motifakes by Rick69

GaryO - September 9, 2015, 8:55 am
the bluff has always worked for me...usually...sometimes...well, there was that one time. it only takes onetime, ya'know.
EmilioDumphque - September 8, 2015, 7:03 pm
Oh, OK. Thanks Mr. Trump. That totally explains why you're rich, and how it had nothing to do with inheriting 200 million bucks.


FACEPALMING - the REAL "Picard Maneuver"


TAGS: the real picard maneuver
Rating: 3.1/5


CARDS - Because nothing says I love you more




ALUCARD -




RERUN'S CHIROPRACTIC CENTER - Always an "Inside Job."




FATE - I played poker with a deck of Tarot cards once. I got a full house and everyone died. -Steven Wright


TAGS: fate tarot cards
Rating: 4.31/5

More motifakes by thehellisthat

Faceplant31 - May 27, 2010, 5:06 pm
Nice!


PAPER OR PLASTIC BAG? - Burlap is not an option.


TAGS: debit card
Rating: 4.29/5

More motifakes by ughomer

thecrotchetyoldcynic - May 25, 2014, 12:36 pm
I posted it on Epic Fail, but you've given me inspiration to post it here :-D
thecrotchetyoldcynic - May 25, 2014, 12:35 pm
Oh, my God! ROFLMAO! Reminds me of what I found at a grocery store. Someone had been shoving pennies instead if quarters. A sign was posted not to insert pennies. However, that form of currency was misspelled.


DEPORTED -


TAGS: travel greencard danger rerun
Rating: 4.21/5

More motifakes by rerun

Reality Lord - November 29, 2010, 3:01 pm

5L from me but dude i think you should lay off of aggy with these zingers.
agdaniele - November 28, 2010, 9:21 pm
Love it!


BLURRED PERCEPTION - After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world - Oscar Wilde




RACE CARD II - Yeah, it's gettin' old . . . like Jimmy Carter.


TAGS: race card liberals obama
Rating: 3.44/5

More motifakes by Todd Snyder

BoneCD - September 18, 2009, 11:31 pm
I'm listening...so good night all
Paul Kondor Poduszlo - September 18, 2009, 11:29 pm
Funny, I'm watching Beck as I type. He's the man.
Sean - September 17, 2009, 3:14 pm
While I'm normally a Citzens for bysenberry jam fan, I kinda resent any statement that is potentially inflamatory while at the same time almost totally incapable of being substantiated -- unless it's about that a-hole Glenn Beck. Bad Carter. Bad boy.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - September 17, 2009, 1:42 am
Boysenberry.
WTFO - September 17, 2009, 1:33 am
I'd say that's normally the case. The real problem is when the race card is used for things that clearly aren't race related, then it becomes crying wolf and is ignored when there is a real act of racism that needs to be corrected.
iamjet - September 17, 2009, 1:06 am
I sincerely believe that the only ones crying race, are racist.
Sean - September 16, 2009, 11:35 pm
Ha Ha Jimmy Carter's old now. That's fu*kkin funny, dude.


TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS - You're doin' it right.


TAGS: cards games time bored
Rating: 3.43/5

More motifakes by todd snyder

omeganeep - October 13, 2009, 8:54 pm
epic fail if it fell


HOLEY MOLEY -




I'D POKE'R - And 'er friend! My nut straight dominates a small two pair.


TAGS: card clothes cards poker nut straight poke r girls
Rating: 1.91/5

More motifakes by aPauling

agdaniele - March 22, 2009, 12:40 pm
Two pair of A's, maybe.
Poke' Bawls - March 22, 2009, 9:35 am
Oh look! two Pair
steve - November 14, 2008, 7:24 am
the only you dominate is your boy friends ass
Popi - August 8, 2008, 7:03 pm
C'mon lassie, I'll see ya, put those cards on tha table
I'll take the one on the left. - July 16, 2008, 6:33 pm
Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.
jimfromtx - July 16, 2008, 2:51 am
I wouldn't mind having a full house of them :D


THIS DOCTOR HAS NO SOUL -


TAGS: podiatrist cardiologist
Rating: 4.22/5

More motifakes by IllicoPresto

gas - November 6, 2011, 9:33 pm
LOL!
Verdeckt - November 6, 2011, 2:28 pm
Umm.. Those are some pretty big feet to be wearing stockings... Holiday snaps?


COSTLY AFFAIR -




EVEN THE CAPTAIN - Panics when his two girls meet up.




INCONTINENCE -




SPARE TIME - Some people just have toooooo much.


TAGS: spare time cards much people
Rating: 3.37/5
spacedog - August 20, 2010, 6:09 pm
It's been a while since it's been said, but anonymous posters usually get 1L. So please let us know who you are next time.
Faceplant31 - August 20, 2010, 10:33 am
1L


CARDBOARD SUBMARINES - There's a fundamental design flaw there somewhere


TAGS: cardboard submarine
Rating: 3.24/5

More motifakes by K Wells

Derek - October 9, 2009, 4:09 pm
Looks as though it has been under some pressure. Depth charges to the stern, I'd hazard.


FIRST BASE -


TAGS: first base king cards good
Rating: 3.16/5

More motifakes by ronsart

temp - September 24, 2009, 10:43 pm
True, third base for greybeards is regular sex. Fourth base (score) is anal and a sammich.
CANADA - August 6, 2009, 8:42 am
Maybe on your scale but he's a greybeard and they work WAY faster!!!!
mrawesomo - August 6, 2009, 2:44 am
wrong base that's third. epic fail


MAN - Guess this sums it up pretty good


TAGS: man cards
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by culos

Derek - July 21, 2009, 10:39 pm
Clearly one must stack the deck to survive.
Suh-weet - November 18, 2008, 12:59 pm
You're funny. ^^,


SENTIMENTALITY - And then there are messages that are just too personal to be delivered via a card!




GETTING LAID -




DOUBLE STANDARD -


TAGS: oh yeah dudes i played the race card now choke on it
Rating: 2.91/5

More motifakes by Sean

Rollseyes - September 22, 2009, 2:04 pm
Ok. Fair enough.
Sean - September 21, 2009, 1:37 pm
it doesn't raise the specter that they are doing it out of hate or trying to encourage hate.
Sean - September 21, 2009, 1:36 pm
* Rollseyes (sorry, I really am a bad typist) ... humor of any sort. But you also gotta worry about the wrong people liking the joke for the wrong reasons. Just not worth the risk most times. But again whenever someone makes fun of their own "kind"
Sean - September 21, 2009, 1:34 pm
Uhm, Ollseyes, my posters teasing white folks like myself (actually I'm imagining the kind of white folks I tend to find annoying) are very few in number. Kinda spur of the moment stuff done way back when. I generally have no interest in ethnic ...
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 9:50 pm
I look forward to it. Good night.
Sean - September 20, 2009, 9:42 pm
Hope I didn't just interrupt. I gotta run -- almost literally. Yours are interesting remarks, and I will respond tomorrow. Not by way of argument, though. Good night.
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 9:40 pm
That doesn't make them mysogynists. Consider the comment retracted. I'm certain I would get a ton of similar comments if I flashed mine here. lol!
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 9:39 pm
As to the charges of mysogyny. Perhaps I was overstating a little. I usually do not take offense at all the posters of women on this site and the types of comments they inspire. I'm really not that insecure. Men look at boobs and make comments.
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 9:37 pm
your own race and remain "safe". I really think we may have become a little hyper-sensitive on the subject of race, especially in recent days. People will have differing opinions, but those opinions can be purely intellectual ones, unrelated to race.
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 9:36 pm
But even with that being the case, why ridicule one's own ethnicity? Should you not be proud of your own people? Why would you feel the need to mock those that share a heritage similar to your own? Unless you have been made to feel that you can only mock
Sean - September 20, 2009, 9:33 pm
target of the ribbing. Obviously I am making an assumption that is not rock solid. Meaning some can take hate as a posible source of those posters since it is far from obvious that a white guy made them. Oops.
Sean - September 20, 2009, 9:30 pm
After a while gender doesn't exist in marriage either. But that's a valid point. Kidding your own group is usually OK because no one assumes that there is any hate behind it. But that thought is based on the kidder being clearly identified with the
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 9:23 pm
Just like you can't tell my gender (and/or? usually it is one or the other). Don't worry. I've learned from Motifake that my gender doesn't exist on the internet anyway.
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 9:21 pm
Forgive me if the race-baiting thing just bothers me. Too much of it going on right now, distracting from honest debate. I can't tell your colour through the internet, not that it matters.
Sean - September 20, 2009, 9:12 pm
Oddly enough, the promotion of hate doesn't concern me.
Sean - September 20, 2009, 9:09 pm
woman.
Sean - September 20, 2009, 9:08 pm
Or sure, play to my vanity. There the side of a barn that's hard to miss. Anyway, I can assure you that if I have been mysogynistic or racist (except for the kidding fellow white folks) I'd like to know when/where. But anyway, take it easy, man and or
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 9:00 pm
And you are capable of much better posters. I know that for a fact. I don't *yawn* at all of your efforts, S-man.
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 8:58 pm
Wow. You needed 4 posts to answer my 1? You didn't hurt my feelings. Sorry if I hurt yours by finding this poster terribly boring. I simply had to respond to the Ad Hominem attack in answer to my critique.
Sean - September 20, 2009, 8:28 pm
OK maybe a little.
Sean - September 20, 2009, 8:27 pm
*of (not ow)
Sean - September 20, 2009, 8:27 pm
I hurt your feelings though.
Sean - September 20, 2009, 8:26 pm
You lost me with "no intellectual honesty". And nice use of "thinly veiled." If you are referring to my posters that make fun ow white folks like me as racist, which is a stretch, I cop to that. Not sure about the mysogyny or the hate part. Not sorry
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 7:34 pm
No intellectual honesty, very few funny comments (I, at least, am capable of admitting you have made a few), and thinly veiled mysogyny, racism, and hate. Who's the timmy again S.? I don't have to make posters to recognize moronic ones.
Sean - September 20, 2009, 1:34 pm
No posters, funny or otherwise, and never a funny comment to make. Keep up the good work Timothy R.
Rollseyes - September 20, 2009, 12:21 pm
*YAWN*


ACCOMPLISHMENTS - Some men devote their lives to achieving the near impossible. Others set their sights much, much lower.




INTERGALLATIC LOVE - It's Out of this World....Literally OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!


TAGS: star trek tng picard data borg queen
Rating: 2.75/5

More motifakes by trekkiegirl89

Cubbybear - July 15, 2010, 8:58 pm
5/5 BIG Data fan.


MASTER CHIEF - Corrupting the minds of children since 2001


TAGS: master chief jailbait card pokemon halo
Rating: 2.64/5

More motifakes by darthreavan1

LOLOLOL - July 1, 2009, 3:06 pm
Honestly, POKEMON?!?! i'd perfer if they make a card game called Strike, which takes characters from vid games, history, movies and pins them aganst each other with factors based on stratagy offense speed ETC
Mr. Shiny - June 5, 2009, 11:44 pm
Why Pokemon?
Vision (the Unpurple) - May 4, 2009, 5:12 pm
Yeah, grass type seems about right.


A PISSED OFF ALUCARD - and you really don't want to get on his bad side, he may just have to use his gun on you, and you don't want that




POKEMON - Ibanez!! I choose joo!!




ONE WORD - FISTICUFFS




Exhibit: A -


TAGS: rerun man card trial exhibit
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Ism

lgvernon - August 3, 2013, 7:10 pm

I heard there were hors d'oeuvres with those little parasol picks in them, too...


The Grim Reaper -




KEVIN WARE INJURY - Just got done choking down "EASTER DINNER", when this happened Now here it is back up all over the table in front of me. .




GET WELL SOON -


TAGS: sick clean internet cards guests
Rating: 4.88/5

More motifakes by Ism

mariand - February 2, 2013, 11:18 am
hehehe...good idea...not that I encourage laziness ;)


discarded -




wise advice -




IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME -


TAGS: christmas cards
Rating: 4.71/5

More motifakes by Airman

Ozbad - June 17, 2012, 5:52 pm
It puts the lotion on it's skin ..


MICHAEL LAUDRUP - To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.


TAGS: swansworld marvin swansea premiership cardiff
Rating: 4.69/5

More motifakes by funkyfigaro

rerun - July 12, 2012, 8:53 pm

sound advise if I ever heard it


dewey and his decimals -




POSITION OR TRUTH -




LIVE AND LEARN -


TAGS: vintage pinup creditcard misunderstanding humor
Rating: 4.55/5

More motifakes by lgvernon

lgvernon - June 17, 2013, 9:46 pm

LOL~~thanks, Bone!~
BoneCD - June 17, 2013, 9:33 pm
Ahhhh...if only my wife knew...5L


MY RETIREMENT -


TAGS: would a cardboard box by a drainage ditch qualify as a mansion by a lake
Rating: 4.51/5

More motifakes by TheTrashHeap

agdaniele - May 8, 2010, 12:41 pm
This one really hits me... I like it a lot.
spacedog - April 5, 2010, 12:07 am
Awesome Trash, 5+.
Cubbybear - April 4, 2010, 8:19 pm
5/5 great poster
TheTrashHeap - April 4, 2010, 5:18 pm
Thanks Aggy. I rather like this one myself. Prophetic or not.
agdaniele - April 4, 2010, 4:51 pm
I love it. 5 teary-eyed L's


I CALL IT THAT ANYWAY -


TAGS: need a card and clothespin
Rating: 4.5/5

More motifakes by Greeny

pzykosiz - November 13, 2011, 5:02 pm
ewww i'm touching caveman
guyfox - November 12, 2011, 7:17 pm
I can see a little bit of me in the corner
rerun - November 12, 2011, 3:45 pm

I see a few I don't know
Sho - November 12, 2011, 1:08 pm
That's my best angle
gas - November 11, 2011, 10:50 pm
same here, I think I saw a little piece of me there xD
IllicoPresto - November 11, 2011, 10:26 pm
Glad to be a member. I think.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - November 11, 2011, 10:16 pm
thanks Greeny, I'm proud to be included. And a little sad about all the good folks we don't see anymore.
maoworks2 - November 11, 2011, 6:49 pm
I'll dring to that !!
mariand - November 11, 2011, 5:26 pm
amsome...we all sail in the same boat
the1stCOMMI3 - November 11, 2011, 4:12 pm
so where do i fit in?


IRONY IN A SINGLE SNAPSHOT -




Credit Cards -




SAVE UNO - I don't give a crap about education but I LOVE that GAME!


TAGS: uno cards protest demonstration humor
Rating: 4/5

More motifakes by steve1961

MissPriss - May 21, 2012, 1:11 pm
2nd good chuckle of the day! Usually give a 5L only to the first but hungover this morning so...5L for everyone! (GaryO's buying).


GROWING UP POOR -




NOW CHAD... -


TAGS: hosting parties unfortunately bacardi and cola declined an invitation
Rating: 3.79/5

More motifakes by Produceman117

spacedog - December 16, 2009, 9:05 pm
LOL. 5Ls.


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